I think of all that I’ve done to get me to where I am at this very moment, not only in the physical sense, but also spiritual, mental, emotional. I wonder if the choices I’ve made were worth it, every turn of the corner, every decision at the fork of the road. Have the extent of such fully revealed themselves to me, or am I still waiting for all the good that I initially thought were to come when I chose my path? If given the opportunity to redo this experience, would I take it?

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I’m a jerk.

Today while taking the tram to class, a man began playing his accordion in the car. At first I didn’t think this was normal because my impression of the Swiss is that they are a quiet folk, and random, noise-making occurrences like these rarely happen. I guess I was wrong, because after his performance he walked around with a small red cup about the size of a shot glass asking for some busking money.

I didn’t tip him because when he extended the cup to my direction, I was in a state of initial shock. What? It’s never happened to me before. I didn’t know.

I feel like a jerk because his piece was so beautiful, so mesmerizing. Looking out the windows of the tram, observing the town of Geneva–all of its historic architecture and diverse humans that walk its streets–while listening to him play created a marriage between what I saw and what I heard. It intensified the experience, and made me even more grateful and excited to be here.

Needless to say, I’ll be tipping the next busker that gives me a similar experience.

Emotions over going abroad have evaded me all summer, but as I wait to board my plane to Geneva, I’m thrown into a wave of reflection, and all too suddenly it’s hitting me that I am leaving. But what I didn’t expect, surprisingly, is that I’m feeling oddly familiar to this time, three years ago, back in a terminal in Guam where I sat in fear and restless anticipation of my boarding number to be called so that I can make my way to the states for the first time for college. Although I’m afraid, my excitement outweighs my nerves for the opportunity to start fresh in a continent I’ve never been. And in this moment of appreciation, I think about the humans who encouraged me to take this leap of faith, who have supported me and continue to fortify my journey in many ways. They know who they are, and I’m thankful for their presence in my life.

I can’t wait for this adventure to begin. Senior year, bring it on.